Born Again Virgin?

“Ok so last year I had sex with this guy (I‘m 19) and I haven’t had sex since. It’s been a year or so and although I didn’t regret it at the time, I‘m starting to, now that I’ve found someone I really care about. I never understood about “waiting ‘til you find someone special” until now. I’m wondering since it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, could I say that I’m a virgin to the next person I sleep with and have them believe me?”, signed L.E.


Mimi Says:
Wow. Let's get this straight. You are asking if lying to a guy about something that is none of his freaking business in the first place is ok? Right?
First, YOUR body is YOUR body. Whether you have had one other partner or 47, it is YOUR body. I think by now you have realized that sex is not love and love is not sex, even though you can have love without sex and sex without love.I would be far more concerned about this new guy being the first guy you said "I love you" to. That is far more valuable than the stupid virginity thing that so many people make the only important "gift" they have to give another human being. It is not.
Let's look at Jessica Simpson who made such a big freaking deal about being a virgin when she married Nick Lachey. Ten minutes after they finally had sex, all that energy spent trying to stay a virgin was gone. Now that she is divorced and she has been with how many guys, do you think that the person she marries next will be upset that she's not a virgin that he can "de flower"?
Unless your new guy is a member of a religion that promises him virgins when he dies, most guys would prefer that their lover NOT be a virgin because, frankly, virgin sex encounters are mostly awkward, clumsy and downright unmemorable. Someone who has a clue what is going on will be a much better partner.
And honey, you are young. I am giving you permission right this minute to NEVER have to tell anyone how many people you have had sex with. And that goes for every woman out there. It is NO ONE'S business but your own. NO ONE. Not even your future husband.Any guy who insists on knowing exactly who you have slept with is going to turn into a nightmare of an abusive, possessive freak and you should run away from him right now.


Samm Says:
As much as us young adults want to disagree with our parents...I'm in total agreement with you mom! Here's the thing…you're 19 years old!!! (and I'm allowed to say this because…I'm 24, and 19 wasn't that long ago), and even though you think this guy is "the one" and "you've finally found him"....I can tell you right now. HE‘S NOT. Unless by some miracle you fall into the 4% category that meets someone young, falls in love and lives happily ever after with that SAME person...he might be more like Mr. Right Now. Deciding that you have to be a virgin to be with this guy is completely ridiculous and starting your sexual life off with a lie...probably not your best idea! You‘ll be disappointed with yourself later, and frankly starting off a relationship with this guy based on a lie…DEFINITLEY not a good idea...sorry girlfriend...but mom is right on this one!

FOOTNOTE: We both want to stress the importance of getting tested for HIV/AIDS regularly. In fact, we wish that groups of friends would go together twice per year and have it done. And rather than finding out after a wild night that your new pal hasn't had a test yet, ASK FIRST. If your partner hasn't had a test and refuses to practice safe sex then refuse the tango. It's easier to be embarrassed for two minutes now asking that tough question than carrying a deadly disease for the rest of your life. No one is that irresistable and you should not be that irresponsible. Sermon over...